How many wish they could change the people in their lives? Just a little bit? Be honest. If only it was that easy. In dealing with people we must understand that everyone is different. Trying to change a person is a battle I promise you that you will not win.
Many times when we are in relationship with others we seek to have them conform to what we want them to be. Whether it is a spouse, parent, child, coworker, or friend, we have an idea of how the person should act. What they should say. How they should dress. And the revision requests go on and on. We make it our focus to have the person fit into what we want them to be. Not everyone will enjoy the same things you enjoy. Not everyone will be as well-organized as you are. And many will not even have the desire to achieve what you achieved.
God created each of us for His specific purpose. Psalm 139:13 reads, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” While we do understand that environment and developmental stages play a part in determining how we act, each of us have a unique behavior pattern. We have been uniquely designed by the hands of a loving God.
Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, they have become new.” If a person is not in sin or acting in total disregard for others, leave them alone. Any changes that need to be made, God will handle. Many times while we are so busy focusing on what others lack we fail to see our own shortcomings.
Trying to change another person is a waste of time. It is hard enough trying to change things in your own life. I have ten pounds I have wanted to lose for six years now. But it requires changing my eating habits. I work out regularly and have for years, but I just cannot seem to change what I enjoy eating.
If a person is to change, they have to want to change. And yes I know if I wanted to lose that ten pounds badly enough I would stop eating cake and ice cream. The desire to change has to be greater than the desire to stay the same. If there are things you want to change in your own life, ask God to help you. Today is a great day to start. I might even start on my cake and ice cream fast today.
Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor